Domestic Goddesses

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

It Takes a Flock to Make a Nest

Which One Are You?

Seven Chicks Every Homegirl Needs (from Nesting: It's a Chick Thing)
The Jackie. This chick can tell you immediately whether toile is out and silk is in. She knows how to match colors you ddin't even know existed and her elegant flair for coordination would shame a Hollywood stylist. She can convince you to give your old heap of a sofa the old heave-ho without hurting your feelings, and she has the ability to help you accentuate the positives. When you need a remedial style course, she's your teacher.

The Green Gertie. She has ten green thumbs and toes to match. This organic chick can cleaer a rosebush of a thousand voracious aphids, save your dying oak tree, and get rid of those pesky rodents using only her trusty squirt bottle and a secret potion. She can tell you where to put it, how to grow it, and when to cut it back. Flowers seem to blossom bigger just because she smells them. When it's time to get down and dirty, call on Gertie. The Martha. With a little nip and tuck she can rework a plain curtain to that it's worthy of Versailles. With a slight furniture rearrangement she can create space you never knew you had. A little cluck-cluck over a recipe, and it's instantly gourment. She practices the domestic arts with the intensity and diligence worthy of an Olympic athlete. Don't even think about making a nest without her advice.

The Bargain Betty. She can smell a good deal a mile away and then squeeze an even deeper discount out of it. Her gracious demeanor belies a shrewd deal-maker and treasure-seeker with an eye for the fabulous amid the foul. With her touch a roadside reject can be refashioned into a gleaming showpiece. Whatever your heart desires - goose-down pillows, heirloom-quality antiques, wall-to-wall carpet - she can get it for you at the absolute best price. This gal should be a regular on Antiques Roadshow, but you're lucky she's not famous yet and is free to shop with you.

The Fix-It Fanny. This chick has a tool belt that takes do-it-herselfing to new heights of fashion. She might prefer Prada to Levi's, but she can hammer out a solution to your domestic problems without putting a nick in her French manicure. A real power chick with the tools to match, she can take on projects that would make Bob Vila call for reinforcements. From the gutters to the basement, this gal's got you covered.

The Neighborly Nellie. The original girl-next-door, she is the best thing about living in your neighborhood. Her door is always open to help you with those last-minute emergencies - an egg, a cup of sugar, a spot of milk, even a shoulder to cry on. She's like having your own marriage counselor and handyman in one. You can't get your fire alarm to stop blaring? Run to her house! If you don't have one of these chicks on your block, consider moving.

The Mother Hen. A veritable fount of wisdom, this chick was home improving when DIY was just a twinkle in Home Depot's eye. Always there to offer up loving, or pointed, advice when you need it, she knows it goes down easier with a spoonful of sugar. Whether she's soothing your ruffled feathers, swooping in to rescue a recipe gone bad, or doling out fix-it advice, she's the one you can call on any time for good, honest, down-home counsel.

5 Comments:

  • Hmmm... trying to figure out who I know in these categories...

    By Blogger Stacey, At 3:51 PM  

  • I think we're all a mishmash of each.

    By Blogger Roe, At 3:12 PM  

  • You are totally Fix-It Fanny, though. Like, 90%. :-)

    By Blogger Roe, At 5:00 PM  

  • ha ha ha... I do like to fix things... a girl in college said she'd marry me if I was a man...

    By Blogger Stacey, At 3:27 PM  

  • You're like Martha and the guy from Trading Spaces combined.

    By Blogger Roe, At 10:18 AM  

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